We all have points in our lives where we question our worthiness of being loved. We sometimes wonder if love itself even exists. Many end up accepting and falsely believing in a counterfeit version of love and associated abusive behavior as acceptable. It becomes their perceived reality.

Toxic beliefs held in the mind have negative effects on the emotions which results in unproductive, unhealthy and risky behavior. Yet, no matter how each person interprets love, no one is exempt from experiencing hurt emotions, mental confusion, a broken spirit and a sorrowful heart. However, don’t despair, there is good news.

I have discovered a spiritual and scientific treatment approach to restoring and maintaining healthy emotions and soundness of mind, and I call it Heart Transformation®.


Morgan, a 15-year-old girl from a divorced family, was torn between her mother and father. Her father Chadwick was a successful businessman who lived overseas, while her mother Ethel lived in the United States. Like most divorces, this created hurt and dysfunction within this little girl. Morgan became very rebellious, continually acting out through dangerous behaviors, such as experimenting with drugs and promiscuity. She had undergone extensive counseling and had been in some of the most elite, costly treatment centers in the country. Yet, nothing was working.

Morgan was desperate for a one-way ticket out of this world. After numerous suicide attempts, she guzzled down from a bottle of bleach. They found her passed out and she was immediately rushed to the hospital. Miraculously, she survived unimpaired.

Shortly thereafter, she stole a vehicle and recklessly drove it on the freeway, then ran into a truck. She spun out of control, also hitting the car of an elderly couple. Miraculously again, she and everyone involved survived the accident. She was sentenced to serve time in juvenile hall.

Her parents heard about our inpatient residential treatment program for children, teens and dependent young adults, which uses the Heart Transformation® therapy. After an evaluation, I called her parents for an emergency meeting. The situation was dire! I said, “Your daughter IS going to commit suicide. It’s not a matter of if; it’s a matter of when. There are many kids who try to get attention and to manipulate, but her ultimate reason for wanting to commit suicide is that she feels as if her happiness lies within her ideals of having a stable family. She feels like she got cheated out of having a beautiful family experience and childhood. She has been left longing for those years that she’s lost and she wants them back.”

Her parents defensively replied with, “She’s manipulating. There’s nothing we can do about it; she needs to find her happiness in God.”

I realize that statements such as this are easy to say, but they are not practical. I continued on. “Let me tell you what she’s saying. She genuinely believes that if mom and dad can’t get back together, then there is no purpose in her living. So she is going to kill herself.”

“Are you suggesting that we get remarried when we both already have spouses? Ethel is also expecting another child from her current husband,” Chadwick explained. Of course that wasn’t what I was saying and being met with resistance was not surprising, either. They continued trying to make themselves believe that their daughter wasn’t feeling the way that she was. Deep down, it was clear that they knew that Morgan’s feelings were very true and very real to her. After all, she had proven that she was very serious.

At a later time, I took the opportunity to share Morgan’s story during a meeting I was holding at an adolescent psychiatric center where doctors, psychiatrists, and mental health specialists were present. I asked, “What would be your counsel?” The range of answers I received surprised me. They talked about the symptoms and labels of the problem. Morgan was accused of manipulation and selfishness. Yet, without one single solution, they were stumped. The only thing that was unanimous was that nobody had any answers. Morgan had already been on too many psychotropic medications and in and out of mental hospitals. Her parents were good people who had tried the punishment and reward system that most parents use. All to no avail. I concluded the meeting with this: “So, based on your answers, this little girl will end up dead. She is going to commit suicide because none of you have an answer and it’s over.” You could hear a pin drop and feel the discomfort within the room.

I gave them a moment to reflect before speaking again. “Let me tell you how we were able to help her. Morgan, her parents, and I were in a meeting and I asked Morgan, ‘What if you believed that you and your parents would all go to heaven when you die? According to the Bible, there’s no marriage in Heaven. Everybody is your brother and sister. You live for eternity and you can spend time as a family for as long as you want. There’s no more pain and no more tears in heaven. What do you think about that? Do you think you could just hold out for that day?’”

At that moment, Morgan’s eyes sparked, showing a ray of hope. Her beautiful answer to the question was, “Yes. I believe.” That day, hope was all she needed. Faith is just one of many concepts that Heart Transformation® uses in its approach. This nugget of hope that had been presented to her that day was perceived by her as love. Hope and love are not restricted to time and distance. What was once an impossibility had suddenly become a possibility. Real enough to save her life. From that moment forward, this little girl not only excelled in the treatment program, but she went on to live a successful life.

I concluded this interaction with these mental health specialists by sharing, “In all of your studying and in all of your learning, you failed to study one thing: the principles of faith, hope, and love applied directly toward the heart as a viable form of medicine.”

A love like we’ve never known

This is not only a story of faith and hope but one of love. Morgan did not have to change anything to receive the gift of love and acceptance without condition. It comes natural to humans to love on the conditions of their expectations and standards. A spiritual renewal of mind and perspective is required to love someone unselfishly. We call this Heart Transformation®.

In performance-based love, emotional approval or withdrawal become the reward or punishment for performance and behavior. Soon children start thinking that their self-worth is in the things that they do instead of who they are in their identity.

It sets up expectations and timeframes that a child may or may not be able to live up to in that moment. Think back to when you were a child. Did you always meet your parent’s expectations? When you didn’t, how did you react? Depending on your personality whether passive or aggressive, compliant or stubborn, or something in between, it still hurt the relationship and it caused you to internalize those feelings or act out and rebel.

Disappointment is a toxic emotion that breeds false identity

It’s not just parents, either. The same expectations are put into play with teachers, coaches, family, and friends. One of the worst forms of not feeling loved is when in our own perception we feel as though we have become a disappointment in the eyes of those we care about. An even worse scenario is to be governed by what others think of you. Especially when those expectations are of people who really don’t care about you, or don’t have your best interests at heart.

Expressed disapproval from those whose opinions we value can make us feel like a failure or we self-destruct and justify ourselves as being bad people. It isn’t uncommon for the girl next door to call herself a bitch these days. These learning moments can devastate the psyche, which shapes their future. They may end up:

Deciding to no longer care—they’re going to do what they “gotta do,” regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Subscribing to the fact that they are a failure so why bother trying—they cannot succeed. It’s not worth the effort because they can never please their parents no matter what they do.
Children suddenly agree with the conclusion of someone else’s unfulfilled expectations and succumb to the idea that they were born this way, it’s who they are and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Perceived Love

As adults, these confused children pass on these values as truths to their peers and on to the next generation. The human psychology (soul and mind), regardless of religion, race or gender, responds profoundly to the thought that God, the universe, a higher power or whatever deity they call him, is now upset with them. Suddenly God is viewed as an angry judge ready to punish, instead of being a friendly and loving Creator. Before we know it, bitter perceptions are formed against God. Other times it’s a lot easier and even less painful to not believe in a God that is difficult to please. More times than not, religion, along with its own set of conditions, further aids this false mindset. Fear of God’s rejection and efforts to acquire blessings or “get right” with him causes people to live a life of repetitive, religious calisthenics that they mistakenly call “spiritual.” Religion teaches us to pray with remorse and regret, be faithful to certain activities, give money, do this and don’t do that— all to please God. Yet the only thing that pleases God is our happiness and our acceptance of his unmerited forgiveness, love and favor which was established long ago before we were born. It’s no different than a child trying to please their parents for approval instead of relying on the security that comes from the relationship. Changing someone’s ideas and behavior is so much easier to accomplish when one perceives they’re loved.

Toddlers and children are constantly pressured to perform for fear of losing mommy and daddy’s hugs and smiles. By around 11 to 13 years old, they become rebellious towards parents. Soon the tables turn and children administer emotional rewards and punishments on their parents in order to get what they want. Professionals call this manipulation, but it is learned behavior that parents teach. Most of our frustrations with another person are rooted in our own unfulfilled expectations. If our expectations haven’t been fulfilled, how can we fulfill another person’s? We get stuck—giving up on love. We make canned statements such as, “I am worried about you because I love you,” or “I’m upset with you because I care about you.” My favorite one is, “God hates the sin but loves the sinner.” Try telling that to someone who has their identity wrapped up in their behavior along with all the self-fulfilling prophesies that have been spoken over them, “If you keep behaving in this or that fashion, you will end up a loser,” Before you know it we have forged a false identity based on behavior instead of our true identity; God’s beloved child.

The answer to feeling loved and valued is found in five sequential steps which starts with God’s love.


Believe who God is – At some point in time every person will have a need to seek a greater love beyond themselves, the ones they care for, and the ones they are cared by. God is that father to all of his creation and has reconciled his relationship with fallen mankind by forgetting all their wrongs committed. He is committed to the relationship and promises to never leave you or forsake you. You don’t have to fear being judged and you can’t disappoint him. He has peaceful thoughts toward you—nothing else.
Believe who you are – If you’re a Peterson and on occasion you wear a mustache and a sombrero, it doesn’t make you a Gomez. You’re still a Peterson regardless of the costume you decide to wear. You are a child of God. You are more than a conqueror. You can do all things and nothing will be impossible for you to accomplish. That is your identity regardless of how you behave—nothing can change that.
Believe you are loved – There has to be someone, somewhere in the universe who can truly accept and love you just the way you are. That person is God and he is love and he wants to live in each and every person. Wherever there is true love, God is indiscriminately present regardless of anyone’s religious views or lack thereof. You can’t love God, yourself or anyone if you don’t understand that he loved you first. It is far more important to know that God loves you.
Learn to love yourself – It’s impossible to truly love, forgive and accept yourself with all of your imperfections until someone has role modeled this love to you. Only God is capable of such love. It takes experiencing genuine love in action for you to realize that you too, can accept yourself just the way you are. Not until then, will you will be able to honestly tell yourself, “I love me, just as I am.”
Learn to love others – Freely you have received and now you can freely become that vessel of joy to the depressed; peace to the fearful and anxious; good to the undeserving and love to the broken-hearted. You will give to others what you have longed for yourself. It’s like discovering the cure to cancer and wanting to share it with the whole world.
Follow these five steps and over time, the law of love will exceed the requirements of rules and morals. In time the fruit of change will blossom in your life; All in God’s time and nobody else’s.

The Science of Heart Transformation

The energy of love is the last frontier of scientific discovery. It can create the change we’ve envisioned! It can give us wholeness of mind and healing of emotions. Imagine, a force so powerful that it could guarantee to keep the flame alive in couples. Parent-child relationships can become more intimate and honest over time. Families will be able to trust in happiness. Mankind has made huge advancement in technology, information, medicine and economics. But now we have the greatest scientific discovery which solves the human condition:


About Robert Torres, a straight “A” student during his elementary school years, was recruited into the Mentally Gifted Minds program. As Robert approached his adolescent years, he got trapped into a culture of promiscuity, partying and substance abuse. It eventually led to a life of crime and gang violence. By age 18, Robert had come to the end of his rope and ended up behind bars.

While in jail Robert, out of boredom, picked up a Bible and read about a man who loved and accepted sinners. He was intrigued by the fact that Jesus was merciful to the rejects of society but harsh towards religion, it’s leaders and the self-righteous. The idea that all his crimes were all forgiven over 2000 years ago and that he could receive the free gift of righteous standing and be totally acquitted undeservedly boggled his mind, but sparked a tiny ray of hope in his heart.

The course of Robert’s life had changed which led him to help others like him to turn their lives around. By the time he was 28, he had raised a family and became an accomplished business entrepreneur. Robert founded several non-profit organizations to help families in crisis with troubled teens. Unbeknownst to Robert, religion would become his new gang and self-righteousness would become his new crime. Even though Robert had helped families around the world, his initial relationship with God eventually degenerated into religion-ship.

His performance-based religion had crumbled and ended in moral infidelity and financial bankruptcy. Through his loving wife, Ceci, he would come to rediscover God’s mercy and goodness. It was there, in the dark shadows of the valley of failure, that Robert discovered God’s acceptance and love towards him had not changed one bit from the time he was just a lost teenager.

It was in that valley of his life that Heart Transformation® was birthed. Heart Transformation® was created by Robert which now certifies accredited residential inpatient and intensive outpatient programs that provide mental health treatment services anywhere in the world. Heart Transformation® is the first biblically-based treatment modality in the history of mental and behavioral health.

It is a therapeutic approach based on how God treats the heart and the relationship, in spite of behavior. When administered correctly, it has the impact to change hearts, heal emotions and restore mental health resulting in a transformed life.

Robert Torres - Creator of Heart Transformation® Interview

Heart Transformation

1420 Celebration Blvd. Suite 200,

Celebration, FL 34747

Phone. 407-901-4000